By Faith...

By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter;

Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.

By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible. Hebrews 11:24-27

Five Kids and a Credit Card

(Auntie Becca, that title is for you(-: )

My life has changed allot this year, especially the last month.
I am traveling with His Little Feet again this year.
With a totally new choir and a new staff member (my "little" brother Jake(-: ) as well as our wonderful new Tour Leaders Jeff and Becca, many things are different.
It has been a time of adjustment, pressing, growing, loving, prayer, repentance, seeing my lack and God's faithfulness.

I can remember one day in particular where I was just so tired and feeling so emotional and stressed and I thought "why am I like this? What is going on with me?"
As I look back I know that it was not God's fault, it was mine.

I once heard a story about an old couple who were riding in their truck, the man driving the women in the passenger seat. They came to a stop light and the women looked out the passenger window at a young couple in the truck next to theirs. The young women was all snuggled up close to the young guy with her arm through his as he drove.
The old women said to her husband "remember when we were like that?"
He answered "I haven't moved"

That is sort of the realization that I had this week...God hasn't moved. He's still being just as faithful as He ever has been. If I'm not feeling close to Him it's not His fault...it's mine.
So this week has been a week of refocusing my eyes on the One Whom I love and Who loves me.

He is ever faithful and good!

How Deep the Father's Love for Us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)


Thank You Father, for Your love!

Changing

Something is happening in me.
There is a growing desire within me. A desire that I did not put there. A desire that is beyond me. A desire that I have tried to have, but couldn't. Not in my own strength.
I have wanted to want to read my Bible, but often found myself doing it just because it was the things to do.
I have wanted to want to be with Jesus, but often found myself spending time with Him out of duty.
Not that I haven't ever wanted to read my Bible or spend time with Jesus, but I cannot truthfully say that I have hungered and thirsted after more of Him...until now.
This past month, actually I think it started way before that, more like this past year, there has been an increasing desire growing within me.
I have often sang with Shane and Shane "Lord I want to yearn for You! I want to burn with passion over You and only You!" and I really did.
As I was going through Ellerslie I think I caught a more fuller glimpse of that yearning, but even there there was the pressure of doing studying and spending time with Jesus just because it was the thing to do, it was encouraged, everyone else was doing it. Not that that is a bad thing. Quite the opposite, it is wonderful to be pressed toward Christ! But then Ellerslie ended and with it the season of living in an environment where everything was so Christ focused to going out into the world once again, where at every corner there is something to try and lure, tempt and distract ones thoughts, focus, and life from being fully centered on Christ.
It is so easy to get caught up in this world like a leaf carried on the back of so many ants and hardly even pay any attention to what is happening.  Perhaps that is the reason for the warning in 1Pet 5:8.

But this is not the way that things have to be.
We do not have to be swept along by the waves of fashion, pop-culture, media, electronics. We do not have to get caught up in the drama of those around us.
We can be free from the things of this world. We can set our affections on things above, and not on things on this earth (Col 3:2). For we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us (Phi 4:13). Not in our own strength mind you, but in Christ.
I have often felt my lack and tried to come up with ways to fill it "If I just got up earlier..." "If I just..." 
But I, and let me stress that I, cannot do it in my own strength. O how easy it is so say "surrender", and how hard to actually do it. It goes against the very grain of our controlling, self-protecting nature to give up our own rights and desires and to place ourselves, unreservedly, into the Almighty hands of God and say "not my will, but Thine Lord". 
So how are we to do it then? 
For we can do ALL things through CHRIST Who strengthens us! (Phi 4:13*)
"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord'' (Rom 7:25a*)
And even thou Paul wrote this to the Church of Galatia I think it rings true for us today that Jesus is the One "who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen." Gal 1:4-5

* emphasis mine

Christ is Risen

Christ is risen from the dead,
Trampling over death by death, come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave.
Christ is risen from the dead,
We are one with Him again, come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave.

O death, where is your sting?
O hell where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light,
The glory of God has defeated the night
O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead He's alive, He's ALIVE!

Only The Beginning...

I think it was a cool morning in the Fall 2010. If I recall correctly, it was one of those mornings in Colorado when the air was colder than the water, which caused a sort of foggy mist to hang over the lake at Ellerslie, by which I was walking.

On this particular morning, out by the lake, I was talking to Jesus.
You see, in my heart a longing was stirring, or rather was continuing to stir, as it had been there a while, a longing that I didn't see being filled any time to soon.

There had been times in the past when this longing would begin to bubble up, but I was usually pretty successful in pushing it down and putting it in Jesus hands. However there were times when that was easier than others.

This was one of those times when the longing was bubbling up more forcefully than usual and needed some attending to. Hence this time out by the lake.

Shortly before the end of my basic semester at Ellerslie I had applied for an internship with His Little Feet. It seemed like such a good fit for me. I could see so many ways that it seemed the Lord had been preparing me for this position. A longing began to form in my heart.

After waiting, putting it in the Lords hands, and crying out for His joy, whether I got the position or not, on August 10th 2010 I found out that I didn't get it.

The Lord was faithful (as He always is! Deu 7:9, Isa 49:7, 1Tim 5:24, 2Tim 3:3, Rev 19:11) and He filled me with joy, even though I didn't get the position.

So after a little brake I went back to Ellerslie and started my, "Advanced Leadership Training". Oh what a blessing that time was! I grew so much in those weeks and months and learned many things that would have been harder (I think) to learn on the road with HLF.

God grew and stretched me through that time at Ellerslie and I truly enjoyed it, but every once in a while that familiar longing would bubble up in my heart. It was usually easier to quell when the HLF team was out on the road and not around (I lived in the same building with them and when they were around I saw and heard allot of them:D It was great! And hard.) However, they would occasionally come back to the Ellerslie campus for short brakes in between their tour travels. As was the case during the time of the above mentioned Fall morning.

So there I was, out by the lake, talking to Jesus about it.

What I said went something like this "Jesus, You know how much I want this. But, if it's going to take me away from You, I don't want to touch it!"

And I meant it. I did long to be a part of this ministry that is impacting children from different parts of the world, as well as churches and families right here in the US, but if being a part of this ministry was going to take me anywhere, but closer to Jesus, I didn't want any part of it.

I think sometimes when I just talk things out- bring them into the light instead of just shoving them down- I see things more clearly, and that's what seemed to be the case on this day.

That is a memorable day to me. It was a day when I sat my desire before the Lord and found that even though it was intense, it fell short to my desire and longing for more of Him. I found that no matter what the enemy had to say about it, Jesus truly was first in my heart and my desire in wanting to work with HLF was a desire for Him and not just me. It was a desire that He was growing (even though I may not have fully grasped that at the time).

It was months later (I had already graduated from Ellerslie and had spent the Summer at home) on August 25th 2011 that I got a phone call from Mike Hahn, President and Co-founder of His Little Feet.
What he said changed my life for the next 9-10 months... and forever.

It was something like this, "Kourtney, we would like to invite you to be a part of the His Little Feet team"...

After months of waiting, praying, trusting, my God had proven faithful once again! He had tilled the ground, prepared the soil and planted a desire in my heart like a little seed. Then He had poured water on it and out of the rich dark soil I had seen a little shoot. I had longed to enjoy it right away, but my Daddy told me to wait, be patient. During that time of waiting He continued to till, water, weed and prune and when the time was just right He allowed me to see the first small bloom. I am now getting to enjoy sharing the fragrance of that small blossom with Him, and I am so thankful that He made me wait! But, even as beautiful as this small blossom is, I know that this is only one step in the amazing adventure that this life with Jesus is. He has more in store and I have a feeling this is only the beginning...

Hidden Treasures

Why are things that are so precious
hid in things of little worth?
Perhaps to show the life which Christ
would live here on the earth

Why is a diamond hid in a stone,
that is known as rough?
Wouldn't clay be far more soft
and not near so tough?

Christ ways are not our ways,
we choose the easy way out,
But He knows what He's after
and His treasures are far more stout

Than anything I've seen
formed in mud or pliable clay
Perhaps that's why He makes them thus
and hides them safely away

He forms these precious things in secret
Not on display like we
He even now is forming
a precious gem in me

He works in quiet places
Unseen by most every eye
Only those who truly seek
Will find where His treasures lie

So seek His treasures in hidden places
Though rough the digging may be
Look to Him and find true beauty
Where you didn't expect it to be!

The Terror of Love

Can love be terrible, my Lord?
Can gentleness be stern?
Ah yes!-intense is Love's desire
To purify His loved-'tis fire,
A holy fire to burn.
For He must fully perfect thee
Till in they likeness all may see
The beauty of thy Lord.

Can holy love be jealous, Lord?
Yes, jealous as the grave;
Till every hurtful idol be
Uptorn and wrested out of thee
Love will be stern to save;
Will spare thee not a single pain
Till thou be freed and pure again
And perfect as thy Lord.

Can love seem cruel, O my Lord?
Yes, like a sword the cure;
He will not spare thee, sin-sick soul,
Till He hath made thy sickness whole,
Until thine heart is pure.
For oh! He loves thee far too well
To leave thee in thy self-made hell,
A Savior is thy Lord!

From Mountains of Spices (chapter 10) by Hannah Hurnard

Carrying God's Burdens

I looked out of the window this morning and saw the sun streaming through the fluffy gray/white clouds which had been tented yellows and golds and pinks by said sun rays. As I was gazing upon this beauty a thought entered my mind, “you look out on a free land”.
How many thousands, even millions are there who don't have the freedom we have? How many countless myriads of Christians die for their faith, for simply loving Jesus, because Christianity is forbidden in their country?
How many people have lost their lives because they prayed to the One True God?
People of God what are we doing?!
We have freedom. We have comfort. We have plenty!
Are we just going to enjoy that freedom while our fellow brothers and sisters suffer? While there are still countless numbers who don't know Christ? While the Satan is still being glorified?

O God! Forgive us for our laxness! Forgive us for our selfish, self-centered, self-seeking...well I can't even really call that Christianity for “Christianity” is “like Christ” and I can say for myself that I have not been exemplifying Him in this way!
Oh God would You break our hearts for what breaks Yours and fill us with the hope that fills You!
I don't even know why God would want to give us His heart seeing how we have neglected and even trampled it in the past.
Lord, teach us to rightly handle Your heart. To carry Your burdens without dropping them when they get tedious of cumbersome.
Lord, please teach us perseverance and fill us with Your Spirit that we might be all that You would have us to be.
We MUST have YOU Jesus!
"The secret to imitation is impartation." ~Eric Ludy
We must have Jesus! We have NOTHING of worth without Him. All our righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).
Lord Jesus, we need You! I need You!
Fill us with Yourself today. Lord, may each one who reads this find more of You today.
Thank You Jesus that You are faithful even when we are not! (Rev 19:11)


Please take a few minutes and scroll down to the bottom of this page and watch the short film "Depraved Indifference"

PRAISE JESUS!

With about 14 out of the last 18 days over 100 degrees and the other 4 days in the high 90's this mornings going out to mid 60's-ish was beautiful!


What's even better is I don't know that it has even sprinkled (maybe it has a tiny bit, I'm not sure) since the post I wrote on June 29th titled "He Opened the Floodgates". Well today He did it again!
I love Jesus!

God is a good God, YES HE IS!!

My brothers and sister and I thanked Jesus as the rain came pouring down. It is lovely to see puddles of water after so many days of dry hot weather!

Thank You Jesus!
We humbled ourselves and prayed and You are healing our land!

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2Chr 7:14