There is a growing desire within me. A desire that I did not put there. A desire that is beyond me. A desire that I have tried to have, but couldn't. Not in my own strength.
I have wanted to want to read my Bible, but often found myself doing it just because it was the things to do.
I have wanted to want to be with Jesus, but often found myself spending time with Him out of duty.
Not that I haven't ever wanted to read my Bible or spend time with Jesus, but I cannot truthfully say that I have hungered and thirsted after more of Him...until now.
This past month, actually I think it started way before that, more like this past year, there has been an increasing desire growing within me.
I have often sang with Shane and Shane "Lord I want to yearn for You! I want to burn with passion over You and only You!" and I really did.
As I was going through Ellerslie I think I caught a more fuller glimpse of that yearning, but even there there was the pressure of doing studying and spending time with Jesus just because it was the thing to do, it was encouraged, everyone else was doing it. Not that that is a bad thing. Quite the opposite, it is wonderful to be pressed toward Christ! But then Ellerslie ended and with it the season of living in an environment where everything was so Christ focused to going out into the world once again, where at every corner there is something to try and lure, tempt and distract ones thoughts, focus, and life from being fully centered on Christ.
It is so easy to get caught up in this world like a leaf carried on the back of so many ants and hardly even pay any attention to what is happening. Perhaps that is the reason for the warning in 1Pet 5:8.
But this is not the way that things have to be.
We do not have to be swept along by the waves of fashion, pop-culture, media, electronics. We do not have to get caught up in the drama of those around us.
We can be free from the things of this world. We can set our affections on things above, and not on things on this earth (Col 3:2). For we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us (Phi 4:13). Not in our own strength mind you, but in Christ.
I have often felt my lack and tried to come up with ways to fill it "If I just got up earlier..." "If I just..."
But I, and let me stress that I, cannot do it in my own strength. O how easy it is so say "surrender", and how hard to actually do it. It goes against the very grain of our controlling, self-protecting nature to give up our own rights and desires and to place ourselves, unreservedly, into the Almighty hands of God and say "not my will, but Thine Lord".
So how are we to do it then?
For we can do ALL things through CHRIST Who strengthens us! (Phi 4:13*)
"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord'' (Rom 7:25a*)
And even thou Paul wrote this to the Church of Galatia I think it rings true for us today that Jesus is the One "who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen." Gal 1:4-5
* emphasis mine
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